


Retracing My Steps, Finding What I lost

by Misshood



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Dorks in Love, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Tim Drake is Bad at Self-Care, one sided Tim Drake/Jason todd - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24712636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misshood/pseuds/Misshood
Summary: Tim finally reveals his feeling for Jason and gets rejected. Damian has a habit of overhearing conversations that he isn't meant to. Especially when they involve the heartbroken boy who keeps breaking Damian's heart.Damian enlists Jason's help to get on Tim's good side after years of being an ass.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Damian Wayne
Comments: 26
Kudos: 182





	1. The Mission

**Author's Note:**

> I am an avid JayTim shipper, but there is also something about Tim and Damian that gets me. It's almost like they have a similar dynamic.

“Timmy. We’ve come a long way but I just don’t feel that way about you. I’m sorry.”

Damian hears sincerity in Jason’s voice through the wall. Tim had followed Jason to the library earlier. He had clearly been intent on having a conversation with him and it didn’t take much for Damian to guess what it would be about. He knew about Timothy’s feelings for Todd. Recently he had been… fixated, for lack of a better word, on the older boy. He hadn’t been spying, but did decide to spend some of the evening reading in the chair right outside of the library door. By pure coincidence, of course.

He put himself in Todd’s shoes and imagined Timothy hinting and hinting until he eventually leans in for a kiss… 

But Todd had rejected him. Todd didn’t want him. How could someone not want Timothy. Todd should not have been forgiven for his past actions let alone been considered a friend. There was no good reason for Todd not to feel as though he was the luckiest man in the world to be the object of Timothy’s affection. 

Tim barged out of the library and Damian focused back on his book and tried to pretend he hadn’t been eavesdropping this whole time. Todd followed closely behind, Tim. “You don’t have to go.” He seemed to be pleading. Jon had told him before that confession of love could ruin a friendship. 

“It’s fine, Jay, don’t worry about it.”

“You know what, I’ll leave.” He held his hands up, signalling retreat. 

Tim stared at the portrait on the wall. A portrait of a woman. She was one of Damian's many ancestors who lined the walls of this hallway. She had the deep blue eyes of his father. The eyes that Damian. His matched his mother and grandfather. 

“Whatever you are going to say just say it. I don’t have time to wait around on cruel comments so just get it over with.”

“I do not wish to mock you, Timothy.”

Tim’s gaze snapped back at Damian. His face painted with confusion that Damian didn’t understand until he realized that he had addressed Tim by his first name. He usually reserved that for the conversations that took place in his mind. 

Tim rushed off before he could say anything else.

Jason didn’t come to dinner at the manor that week. His absence left an odd feeling at the dinner table. Richard was either oblivious or trying to lighten the mood.

“I bet Jason’s on one of his space adventures again. I know how it can be with Roy and Kori. One time when we were on a mission where we had to-”

The chair screeched as Tim stood up abruptly. “I’ve homework. Midterms,” he said. 

“Excused,” Bruce said. 

Todd was not off planet. He was sitting at his kitchen table cleaning his guns. He was in a vulnerable position. All of his weapons were sitting useless in front of him, but Damian knew that he was still very much a threat as he analyzed the scene from the fire escape. 

He should leave. The situation between him and Tim didn’t concern Jason. He had made up his mind to leave, but then Jason spoke, “What do you want, Demon Brat.”

Damian ducked into the window and approached the table. He was unsure where to go now, unsure what to say. He didn’t even know what the question that he did have was. 

Damian was the one in the vulnerable position now. 

“Sit down.” Jason said. 

Damian followed the order, glad to be told what to do. 

They sat in silence. Jason wasn’t going to be the first one to speak. If you were to ask Damian, he would say that Jason’s ability to easily establish control over something as small as a conversation about Timothy was a result of his Tim spent with his mother. 

“I am worried about Ti- Drake.”

“I’m warning you now, I don’t think that he would like that.” Jason shifted his position in his seat slightly. He was more open to Damian now. Establish comfort to disarm your opponent. “And since when do you care about Tim’s well being at all?”

“Do you not worry about the state of your relationship now?”

“Tim and I are fine.”

“Are you disgusted by him?”

The misunderstanding was immediate. “Are you fucking serious kid? Tim’s interested in men and so he’s what? Disgusting?”

“No. I did not mean it that way. I just mean to say that… such a fragile relationship as yours, It seems to be already breaking down under such pressure.”

“It isn’t breaking down. Tim asked me not to come to the manor. He wanted some time to cool off. It’s the least I could do. I don’t know if you are capable of empathizing with humans, but Timmy ain’t in the best position right now. ”

Damian had no idea why Jason was answering his questions so easily, but Alfred had often advised him not to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“The two of you spoke.”

“He texted me. Want me to tell him to call next time so you can listen in on us?”

“I apologize for that. I wish to build a relationship with Drake, as you have. We started in similar positions and the two of you have gotten past your history. I wish to do the same. I thought that I would be able to gain some insight.”

Jason let out a deep breath and scrubbed his hand through his hair.

“It isn’t going to be easy. You just need to start small.”

“But how. We can’t speak to each other without an argument ensuing.”

“Stop being so guilty about it. You need to get over it. If that means apologizing to him or going to meditate in a cave for three days just do it. Stop letting your guilt get in the way and just have a normal conversation. Talk to him about the weather or some boring shit like that. It’s gonna be weird as hell, and he is going to think it's weird, but he is going to see that you’re trying.”

Damian thought about Jason’s advice to him. Apologize. Make small talk without arguing. He could do that. If Todd could do it so could he.


	2. Establishing Contact

The more Tim thought about Jason the more humiliated he felt, so he decided not to think about it at all. 

Not thinking about things was not a simple thing to do, but Tim thought of himself as an expert in avoidance. Especially in the middle of school. He had 3 papers to write and 3 and 3 exams to study for. He was grateful that he had decided to take 18 credit hours this semester. That along with WE and red robin should keep him pretty busy until he puts enough distance between him and the incident. 

After two days of focusing on nothing else, he decided to get some rest. His head hit the pillow and he closed his eyes, but that didn’t get him anywhere. He thought about dealing with it the way he used to. No. Because he would end up thinking about Jason. Stupid Jason. Stupid, considerate, sweet gorgeous Jason. With his broad shoulder and sweet blue eyes that crinkled in the corners in the most adorable way when Tim made him laugh for the first time. 

If he laid there any longer he was going to end up jerking off like and being guilty for about a week. That was not avoidance. 

His stomach growling was the out that he needed and he took it. 

When he got to the kitchen, the only person there was Damian. He was already back from patrol which meant that it was later than Tim had realized. He didn’t say anything to the younger boy, who seemed to be content with staring down his tea. He had been acting odd towards Tim since he overheard his and Jason’s conversation. Tim didn’t want to think the worst of him, but there were only so many things that his reaction could mean. Tim didn’t realize that he had put on a pot of coffee until the drip started hitting the pot. Muscle memory. Well, coffee did sound great. 

So, was Damian a homophobe? No. that couldn’t be. He wouldn’t have learned to be homophobic from any of the bats. And Tim knew from his own experience that Ra’s had an extremely nuanced view on sexuality. That couldn’t be it. 

Although, he wasn’t sure that Damian understood the finer issues that surrounded it. He probably had no reason to know that you shouldn’t out someone without their permission. God, dick probably already knew. And if Dick new that meant that so did half of the vigilantes in Gotham. 

He shouldn’t jump to conclusions. He would just have to probe Dick next time he spoke to him and see if he knew anything. Dick wouldn’t be able to hide it if he knew something interesting about Tim. 

Remembering that he came to get food, Tim reached into the cabinet for a protein bar. Alfred would have scolded him if he saw, but Tim was sure that the butler wasn’t around. If he was, Tim wouldn’t have gotten within six feet of the coffee pot this late at night. 

“The weather!” came a shout nearly directly into Tim’s ear. Somehow he hadn’t noticed that Damian had creeped up right behind him. He jumped and through the protein bar far up into the air. 

“What the fuck?”

“I, uh,” Damian stammered, “The temperature is beginning to trend upward. I found that my tunic with extra insulation was unnecessary tonight on patrol.”

Damian looked like a scared puppy. A really big scared puppy with his eyes trained on Tim’s face looking for any detail to change. He didn’t know what the fuck was up with that. 

“I’ll uh, I’ll keep that in mind Damian, thanks.”

At that Damian’s face lit up like a dam Christmas tree. Tim didn’t know what exactly to make of that, but he did know that this was a level of weird he wasn’t equipped to deal with at the moment. 

“Good night, Damian,” Tim said. It was a pleasantry that Tim didn’t ever recall sharing with Damian, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to exit this interaction. 

“Good night to you as well, dra- Timothy.” Damian said. His tone sounded over eager again. It was almost like he was trying to be nice? Friendly even? But one data point does not make a trend. There was no reason to judge an isolated incident as anything but that.

Oh, but Tim was definitely going to lock his bedroom door tonight. Just to be safe. 

Damian returned to his room after he had his tea and pulled out the small notebook stashed in the wooden frame of a canvas. 

He crossed out the first item on his list “Make contact: small talk” and replaced the painting against the wall. He would continue to make small talk, increasing the frequency of their interactions at a gradual pace. Eventually he would establish a common interest and the two of them could “Hang out” with one another. 

Tim had seemed to respond well to their first interaction, but it would take quite an effort to disarm him completely. They would be friends. That is all that Damian realistically hoped for. Tim would never be interested in Damian, but he thinks that a friendship would be a very close second. 

He imagined sometimes what it would be like to kiss Tim. Sometimes quite a bit more than that. Sexual dreams of the older boy had been with him since he had begun puberty. He had still despised him at the time which made the dreams all the more confusing. He wrote them off as nothing more than his subconscious picking a face. That was much harder to do when Tim made appearances in his waking fantasies.

But that wasn’t relevant. He would strive to be Timothy’s friend. Even that was not a modest goal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is time for Damian to set his plan in motion.


	3. Lines of Communication

One weird occurrence led to another and another after that. They became progressively less odd and forced and eventually they were talking when they ran into each other in the manor. They were even bantering on patrol. The change happened rather quickly and took most all of the family by surprise. Except Cass, obviously. Bruce seemed suspicious, but pleased. Giving them questioning glances whenever they interacted. Dick was predictably enthusiastic about it all. Jason sent a few smirks Tim’s way and Tim was surprised by the lack of butterflies in his stomach. He felt like he was truly in the process of getting over it.

He was grateful to Jason. He didn’t do anything to make the situation more difficult than it had to be. That’s probably why his feelings went away. Kon had told him that the only way to get over it was to rebound, but Tim’s method of just trying not to think about it seemed to work out perfectly. No new person even needed. He would have to rub that in Kon’s face. 

The whole situation had really helped out his GPA too. He had put quite a bit of time into school work so that he could avoid his feelings. 

Tim received a text message in one of his classes from Damian. He honestly had no idea that he even had the boy saved in his phone, but apparently he did.

Damian: New bike. Modifications. Would like some help. 4pm.

Tim didn’t know how to respond to that. Damian knew about bikes. He definitely thought that he knew more about bikes than Tim. 

Damian:?

Ah. So that would be a request and not an order. He typed out a reply

Me: make it 3? I’m staying at my apartment and need get ready for *work*

He watched as a bubble popped up to indicate Damian’s typing. It went away and then popped up again several times before the reply finally came.

Damian: That would be great. Thank you. 

When Tim go to the garage Damian was waiting for him there. He had on a green v neck and an older pair of jeans that he like to wear when he was getting his hands dirty. It had been a few years since the boys last growth spurt, but he apparently didn’t see the need to throw out any of his clothes unless they were literally bursting at the seams. That shirt was close, but not quite ready to pop. It hugged Damian's torso and arms in a way that would not be appropriate outside the manor. It probable wasn’t really appropriate out side of his bedroom if you asked Tim, but no one was asking him. 

It was fine. It was fine. He had been working with Bruce, Dick, and Jason long enough not to drool over someone who didn’t want the attention. He was just surprised that he never noticed how attractive the little bat had grown up to be. Maybe it’s more difficult to notice when you are constantly afraid of an oncoming scuffle. 

Approaching the bike, Tim made sure that his footsteps were loud. Sometimes he would accidentally move into stealth mode even when he was in civilian mode. It was find around his classmates or coworkers, but taking an armed bat by surprise was never a good idea. 

“Hello, Timothy,” Damian said. He turned and beamed at the man. Tim was still a little taken aback by the boy using his first name. He never thought that he would get used to it from Jason, but Jason always used the same dumb little nicknames for him that Steph and Dick did. Timmers, Timmy, Timbo. Why couldn’t anyone just call him Tim? It wasn’t that big of an ask.

He did acknowledge the step that it took to get Damian to call him Timothy, even if it was a bit formal. 

“That is what you are wearing?” Damian asked.

Tim looked down at his clothes. He was wearing combat style boots, leggings, and an oversized sweater that likely belonged to Kon some years ago. Damian was right. This thing would be ruined if he tried to work on a greasy bike with it. Luckily, he was wearing an undershirt. He took off the sweater, throwing it onto the chair that was in the corner of this particular room. 

“So.” Tim clapped his hands together, “Where are we starting.” 

“I, uh,” Damian stammered. He was staring at Tim’s torso. Not making eye contact. Probably embarrassed that he needed help at all. 

Eventually Damian did give him some instruction and they got to work on the bike. They worked for a few hours before they finally finished all of the modification that Damian wanted. 

“Wanna take it for a test drive?” Tim asked. Damian just grinned back and nodded. 

He let Damian drive. It was his bike after all, so Tim sat on the back of the bike and held on tight to Damian’s waist while they sped through the vast property that was the Wayne estate. From where Tim was sitting he looked at Damian’s brown leather jacket, his tanned neck and mess of black hair peaking our from helmet and thought that the boy almost looked like Jason. 

Damian stopped at the slop of a small hill. Tim knew that there was a stream around here somewhere 

“There's a little stream down here. Wanna take a break?”

So they did. They sat at the bank of the little stream in comfortable silence for a few minutes.

“You know, this is where Drake estate starts. I used to come down to this stream all the time when I was a little kid.”

“I’ve never really explored the Manor grounds past Alfred's garden. I didn’t even know that his was here.”

“I used to wander a lot. You know, my parents would leave me alone in that big house. It’s not like there was anywhere I could really go, but I knew that I wanted to be anywhere but there.”

Damian looked at him with what appeared to be sympathy. Tim suddenly became aware of his oversharing at the same time the wind hit his back. He should have grabbed a Jacket before they left. 

“Sorry. I know you don’t want to hear about my childhood. What are you? My therapist?”

Damian smiled to himself as he shrugged off the leather jacket and held it out for Tim, “Here. Don’t freeze.” There was that damned puppy look again. He didn’t that Damian was capable of anything but anger and smugness a month ago and here he was, offering his jacket to him with that needy look on his face. “What was it like?”

“What was what like?” Tim asked, sliding into Damian's jacket. It was warm from Damian's body. 

“Growing up? For you? It seems so much different than what I went through.”

As the evening went on, Damian pulled more and more information out of him. About his childhood, and then young justice and the titans. About college and his work and his parents and his relationship with Bruce. 

By the time that Tim got back to his apartment he was still reeling from surprise. He wondered what was going on. Maybe there was some ulterior motive, but maybe Damian just wanted a friend in Tim. He could do that. 

He was more excited that he should have been. Giggling and falling onto the couch. Damian wanted to be his friend. That shouldn’t make him this giddy, but he was. He realized that he still had Damian’s jacket on and realized that he would have to return that at some point. But for now it was time for patrol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our little boy, Tim, totally oblivious to the fact that he is falling hard for Damian.


	4. Making amendments

Damian had put his primary mission on hold when he realized how horrible Tim was at taking care of himself. He hardly slept, was incapable of cooking anything nutritious for himself, and used a generic bar of soap to wash every part of his body. It was unacceptable. 

He decided that he would help him. They would start small and progress until he could start acting like a functioning adult. Skin care was the best place to start and also the most urgent. Tim had the most beautiful skin that Damian had ever seen, but he knew that boy didn’t do anything to take care of it. He went online and found a handful of products that fit Tim’s skin type and waited for them to arrive.

He approached Tim while he was sitting at the dining table of the manor on his laptop. He was curled up in the chair like a cat, focusing intensely on whatever project was at hand. 

Damian set the basket down on the table and took the first product. Tim had noticed his presence and was giving him a confused look. 

“This is a cleansing oil. You will no longer be using makeup wipes after undercover missions. After the oil you must use a water based cleanser. Next you will be using-”

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand what’s happening here,” Tim interrupted. He was clearly trying to stifle a laugh. Damian didn’t care if it amused Tim, it was important. 

“Skin care. It is important that you take care of yourself, Timothy.”

“I have never had a problem with my skin in my life.” It was true. Damian took in his skin, it was so smooth and even and pale. It perfectly suited his slim build and delicate features. He was everything that Damian wasn’t, physically. He imagined the way that their bodies would look intertwined with one another. 

“Dry skin is not prone to blemishes, but will show signs of age sooner if not taken care of.”

“I am not really worried about that. And I don’t have the time for a skin care routine, Dami.” 

Damian’s heart somersaulted at the use of the nickname. It outright flipped at the amused smile Tim shot his way.

He pulled out a single glass jar from the basket and held it out, “Just the moisturizer?”

“Fine,” Tim groaned. He caved to Damian’s will easier than expected. He would have a full regimen in no time at all. 

Tim stared at the glass jar on his bathroom counter. It was just a small jar, but it represented their budding friendship. Every time Tim looked at it he thought about that stupid self satisfied grin that Damian had when he finally caved.

He looked in the mirror and pulled out the bun that his hair had been in for the last day and half. If he was going to keep it long, maybe he should start using a conditioner. It was a bit frizzy and starting to get dry at the ends.

When he looked at his face closely in the mirror he couldn’t tell if he was seeing fine lines or if he was imagining them. Damian was right, he was only 22 but with his lifestyle he wouldn’t be surprised if his skin started showing his bad habits. Not sleeping, drinking mostly coffee and energy drinks, and an extremely stressful lifestyle didn’t usually result in youthful glowing skin. 

He dipped his finger into the jar and spread some of the moisturizer on his face. Should it go all the way to his ears? His neck? It felt odd. Maybe he was spreading it too thick. Whatever it was, it was a start. 

Every time he stayed at the manor over the next few weeks he would find a new product of some kind in his bathroom waiting for him. Damian really was trying to take care of him wasn’t he? 

He thought about bringing it up while he was laid out on Damian’s bed, brainstorming ideas for his final project for his high school art class. He was looking through Damian’s portfolio while Damian sat at his desk. Sketching something. Looking for some sort of inspiration. The boy truly seemed to be stumped. Tim was actually amazed at Damian’s work. He was just looking at photos of some of the Damian’s painting, but he hadn’t realized how good he had gotten. How much his skills had improved. 

“These are all so amazing, couldn’t you use one of these.”

“No. I want to do something new. I think I may have an idea.”

“Oh,” Tim said, pushing off the bed to look at what Damian had been working on. 

It was a sketch of him. Where he was just now sitting on the bed. A methodical look on his face. He wasn’t going to comment on the fact that he didn’t look like that. The sketch was great, excellent really, but Tim didn’t look that good. Maybe on his best day. He guessed that’s what drawing and painting had over photography. It could hide flaws and make people look beautiful. 

“I don’t know Damian. I am a photographer, we generally don’t like being the subject.”

“Oh,” Damian said. And there were those stupid puppy eyes. 

“Fine,” Tim said. Caving to Damian like this was slowly becoming a trend and Tim wasn’t sure how he felt about that, “But I am not posing naked for you.”

Damian blanched and Tim let out a giggle.


	5. Making Amends

Tim set the last of his mugs in the drying rack. He had spent the afternoon cleaning his apartment in preparation for Damian to come and apparently teach him to cook.He never asked Tim if he wanted to learn, just told him when he would be coming. I will bring my knowledge and the materials needed, all I request is a proper and sanitary work place. He giggled at the memory as he recalled it.   
He tried to see from Daiman’s perspective, imagine what the nitpicking little shit would see that he didn’t. He didn’t acknowledge the fact that he was putting so much energy into impressing the boy. He looked at the clock, he had three more hours before he was meant to show up. Neither of them were scheduled for patrol tonight so they could stay up a bit late. 

It was supposed to be a few more hours so Tim was taken by surprise when Damian showed up at his door twenty minutes later on the verge of a panic attack. 

“I would have gone to Grayson, but he is in Bludhaven and is likely working at the moment. I shouldn’t be burdening you with this,” The boy said from the hallway of the apartment building. He was clearly trying to speak calmly but he wasn’t doing a good job of covering up his anxiety. 

“No, come in now,” Tim ordered. He held Damian’s cheeks to get a better look at him, “You’re a nervous wreck, what happened?” He asked. He had the urge to pull him into a hug, but didn’t know how the boy would take to it. 

“Colin and I were studying together today and he introduced the idea of going to the prom with a group of friends. I dismissed him, told him it was childish. I hurt his feelings.”

“If you don’t want to go to prom then you don’t have to. Colin has been your friend for years, he knows you. I’m sure he isn’t that upset about it.” Being friends with Damian meant having thick skin, Colin should be fine.

“I lied to him. I would like to attend the event.”

Tim wasn’t really seeing the issue here then. “So what’s the issue? Are you worried about a date? I’m sure plenty of girls at school would be happy to go with you.” Damian was good looking. Tim would say that, from an objective view, he was hot. 

“You are the last person I would expect to make assumptions, Timothy.”

Assumptions? Oh? Oh. Damian was… 

“So you’re…?

“I’m gay.”

“You’re gay.”

“Yes.”

“Are you nervous? To come out?”

“I am not uninitiated. My grandfather did not discriminate based on gender when it came to his lovers.”

Boy did Tim know that, “I just mean… I know how hard it is. But if you don’t have that problem then great. Who have you told?”

“No one, as of yet. Other that you, of course,” Damian said. He didn’t look bothered, but Tim had seen the boy conceal his emotions before. He was nervous as hell and Tim was the first person he came out to. Tim knew what it was like to have no reaction to the first person you tell. When he told his mother she had dismissed. Told him that it didn’t matter to her. After years of anguish she hadn’t even told him that it was okay.

Tim pulled Damian into a hug. It was awkward. Damian was a head taller than him and he lifted his arms in surprise when Tim wrapped around his torso. 

“I’m happy for you,” Tim said. His head was resting against Damian’s shoulder and it muffled his voice. He knew that Damian had heard him when he wrapped his arms tight around him. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, before Damian pulled away.

“Thank you for your support Tim. I didn’t think that I needed but… Sometimes you seem to know what it is I need before I do. I am worried that my own sexuality will inhibit me further from the childhood that my peers seem to put on such a high pedestal. I am satisfied with who I am, but I worry that I do not possess the thing that I need to be happy. My childhood would not allow that I have it.”

It makes sense. Growing up in the league Damian never got to be a kid. He used to say that he was better off, more mature than the kids his age. He’s is starting to accept that he wasn’t lucky. He never got to grow up like everyone around him did. 

“You aren’t missing anything Damian. Happiness isn’t something that you can just give. And no one, not even you’re grandfather, could have taken it from you. It isn’t gone, it’s just lost. You can find it again.”

“I still yearn for what I didn’t have. I find myself wishing that father had taken me away sooner. That he would have found out and I would have grown up here.”

“You know that I dropped out of high school right? And Steph had a baby. There is no such thing as a normal childhood. I know that yours was in an entirely different realm of strange, but you would be feeling this was even if you had a white picket fence and played t-ball, and that's okay. Okay?” Without thinking, Tim brushed a stray hair out of Damian's eyes and all of the air seemed to be sucked out of the room. 

They were closer to one another than Tim had realized. He was breathing in Damian’s air and he could feel his warm breath on his skin. 

“Okay,” Damian said, finally breaking the tension between them, “I apologize, in my panic I forgot to bring the ingredients for dinner.”

“That’s okay,” Tim says, standing up from the couch and making his way to the fridge, “I’ve got something better.” he handed an open bottle of beer to Damian. 

“I am not of appropriate age.”

“Come on, I know for a fact you’ve had a champagne at plenty of galas. If you don’t want to, that's fine, but you aren’t going to get in trouble.”

Damian smirked at him, “I guess it is an appropriate to celebrate the occasion.”

“I only do what’s appropriate,” Tim said, “Your first time only happens once.” He didn’t realize the implications of that phrase until it left his mouth, but Damian didn’t seem to react so Tim just cringed internally and let it be. 

It didn’t take long before the alcohol took its effect and the boys found themselves in deep conversation. 

“I do not know how one is meant to date in such an environment as high school.”

“It’s high school, it’s not supposed to be anything good. If you’re lucky you find someone, but dating at that point is more about yourself. Figuring out who you are,” He leaned in and grinned at Damian, “What you like.”

“Disgusting, Drake,” Damian said. He didn’t like to think about Tim with anyone else. 

“What can I say? Kon and I learned a lot about ourselves when we were teenagers.”

“You and the clone?”

“Don’t look so surprised about. We were awful at keeping secrets then. Everyone knows”

“I’m not surprised,” Damian said. He would have guessed by the comfort that the two show around each other, even if he never understood Tim’s patience with the imbecile. “I’m just curios about the intricacies. His alien DNA and all.”

A small smile grew on Tim’s face and he looked at Damian directly in the eye for a few moments before he spoke. “You and Jon?”

Damian hated when he did that, and he was very bad at lying to Tim.

“Jon and I have never had sex.”

“Sex is a pretty broad term. You sure about that.” God damned loopholes. There was no hiding anything from the man. 

“We have had some… interactions,” if you could call making out and dry humping to completion an interaction. “We have decided that we don’t work well together as a couple.”

“Okay, so you’re a virgin then.” Damian blushed at that. How did Tim always seem to divulge more information that Damian was willing to give, “That’s fine,” Tim said, clearly reacting to Damian’s embarrassment, “Anyone tells you different, send them my way.”

“You may be effective in the field, but you are not and extremely intimidating presence,” Damian giggled out. 

“You didn’t let me finish,” Tim said, “Send them my way and I’ll call Jason. Yeah?”

“Yes, Okay. That is a much better option.” 

Jason. He should probably write him some sort of thank you note. If not for him, Damian and Tim would have begun this small friendship that Damian has been cultivating. 

“Speaking of Jason, are you and he…?”

“We’re fine. I feel like I’ve moved on pretty well from it. He was really nice about. He loves to pretend he’s mean, but really he just wanted me to be okay. He wants me to be happy, just not with him. It means a lot.”

The night goes and the two of them talk more. Damian attributes the alcohol and its properties as a social lubricant to the fact that he opens up to Tim in a way that he has never opened up to anyone in the past. 

He will be hungover tomorrow and his father will scold him. 

Damian doesn’t really care about that now. He mostly cares about Tim’s flushed cheeks and extravagant hand motions. 

The rest he can worry about later.


	6. The Primary Objective

Tim was relieved when he got a text message from Damian that he needed to be picked up. He had been trying to take a nap. He had been trying this new thing lately: taking care of his body. He didn’t like it at all. 

He made his way to the venue and finally let himself think about his feelings. Damian and Tim had been getting along for a while and Tim had this small noise in the back of his mind like the one he got when the answer to a puzzle was sitting right in front of him. That night that Damian had come out to him, he had been sitting in bed and it all clicked together. 

He had it bad. For God’s sake, he had been conditioning his hair. And learning how to cook. He was enamored and just hadn’t realized it yet. 

And it was Damian of all people. That’s when Tim spotted him, walking down the street about a mile away from the prom. 

“You okay?” Tim asked him. The boy startled a bit, he had clearly been in his own head. He didn’t look upset though. He looked fine. 

“Yes. Collin decided to go to an after party. He would have stayed with me if I had asked,” Damian said, getting into the passenger seat of the car. 

“How was it? Did you have fun?”

“I think I had been expecting too much. It was not any sort of life changing event.”

“Well, that's good to know, I guess.” Tim said. He refused to look at the boy next to him. Focus on the road. Ignore the tux. 

“Tim?” 

“Yeah?”

“Can I stay with you tonight? Father and I got in an argument before I left and I would not like to deal with that now.”

“No problem.” 

They talked about the prom the whole ride home. They had expensive, but mediocre refreshments, Colin had been extremely flustered when he had seen his date in her dress, and Damian had only had one dance with a girl named Isabelle.

“Have you ever danced with a boy?” Tim asked Damian. When Damian shook his head Tim held out his hand to him. 

He didn’t do it because he wanted to dance with Damian more than he wanted to breath at the moment, he did it because Damian deserved to dance with a boy. To know what it was like. Damian deserved everything and if Tim could only give him one thing he would. 

“Who leads?” Damian asked, taking Tim’s hand. 

“Well I would definitely say that I’m the better dancer, so how about you follow.”

Damian huffed at that, but placed his hand on Tim’s shoulder anyways. 

It was a bit awkward, because of their difference in height, but Tim was good at taking the lead so it worked out alright. He could feel the heat radiating from Damian Tim’s hand was pressed against the small of his back. 

“How’s this?” Tim asked.

“It’s… good.”

“You looked really great tonight,” Tim said, “I feel underdressed.”

Damian blushed, “You think that I look great.”

“You... I…” Tim stuttered out. He let out a short laugh at his own shyness, “Of course you look good. You’re a very good looking guy and the tux really suits you.” 

They stayed like that, just swaying to the music from Tim’s speaker and looking into each others eyes. Tim wondered about how much he had missed out on in high school. He was never sad that he didn’t go to any dances, but this was really nice. Nothing could make this better, not even the school gym decorated with streamers. 

“Thank you,” Damian said, “For forgiving me. Or at least looking past the way I acted when we were younger.”

“Thanks for trying with me. Being friends with you, hanging out with you, it’s the best things that’s happened to me in a while.”  
Damian held his stare for a moment before he leaned down and pressed their lips together. 

It was warm and soft and everything Tim had expected from Damian. Up this close the boy smelled like lavender. 

He quickly pulled away after just a second. 

Tim couldn’t have that, wouldn’t have that, so he grabbed the collar of Damian’s coat and rolled up onto his toes.

This time Damian was the one taken by surprise and Tim took the lead. Guiding him through it, opening his mouth just enough to drag his teeth against Damian’s full bottom lip. 

It was slow and romantic until it became more intense. More passionate. When Tim slipped his tongue into Damian’s mouth and Damian sucked it just a little bit Tim felt his stomach drop and turn into butterflies. 

And that’s when Damian pulled away. A look on his face that Tim couldn’t do anything to read. 

“I’m sorry,” Damian said. He sat back on the couch and looked away from Tim. His body language was closed off, crossed legs and folded arms. Tim should have known it was going to be a mistake to try to comfort him, but he reached out to touch his shoulder. Damian immediately stood up and excused himself to the bathroom. 

This was wrong. So wrong. Damian paced back and forth in the bathroom. He had kissed Tim. He shouldn’t have done that. Now what would Tim think. That he is some sort of enamored little school boy. 

A knock on the door, “Damian?”

“I just need a moment to compose myself and then I will be out of your hair. I’m sorry for my behavior.”

“Damian, don’t go. I get it. You’re scared. You are graduating soon and your life is changing. It’s okay to be scared.”

An out. Tim was giving him an out. 

He wasn’t scared. Well, he was, but kissing Tim had nothing to do with that. It had everything to do with the fact that Damian was in love with Tim.

But it was an out. A way for the two of them to pretend that nothing had happened. 

Damian would take it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's almost finished. The final chapter is written, it just needs some minor editing. It was going to contain some smut, but I decided that it doesn't really work in this story at all. Thank you guys so much for your support. It means so much to me.


	7. The End of it All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished it up and just got too eager. It's early. Here you go.

“I just wish you would have at least asked me,” Dick pouted.

“I feared that your enthusiasm for the idea would be overwhelming, Grayson.”

They had been looking at the painting of Tim that hung in the Manor. It was by far Damian’s best piece. Father had the Idea to present some of Damian’s art work at his graduation party. 

Damian felt guilty over the past week. He had kissed Tim and then lied about the reason. As If the man could ever be a coping method for Damian. No. That was an insult and he was surprised that Tim had showed up to his graduation at all. Tim and Jason were standing next to them admiring the painting as well. Tim had a faint blush on his cheeks whenever someone mentioned it, but looking at it made him even more aware of the attention. 

“You’re looking all mopey. It’s your party isn’t it?” Jason said.

“Mrs. Beasley has been trying to catch me all night. I believe she would like me to attempt to court her daughter.” 

Tim smirked at him, “Want to send her a message?” Tim asked, holding his hand in the same way that he did the night of the prom. 

Here they were again. Damian had thought about their dancing as much as he had thought about the kiss. Tim’s guiding hand at Damian's waist leading him where he needed to be. Their hands clasped together. Tim’s small, but not feminine and fitting perfectly into his. Damian’s hand reached around all the way to Tim's back, unlike how the girls were taught to place their hands on the boys shoulder when they were young. Tim was so much smaller than him but still managed to be so commanding. He exercised gentle control over the way they moved the same way he seemed to possess Damian in every other aspect of their relationship.

“I was not simply afraid. Or vulnerable. It wasn’t like you said.” Tim looked shocked. Damian was shocked as well. He had no intention of divulging that information, but there it was. Sitting between the two of them now. 

“I think I knew that. Deep down.”

“I am not asking you to reciprocate. I have felt this way for some time and am more than content with our current arrangement. I feel as though I am extremely lucky to have you in my life in any capacity. I just… I feel that you should know what I feel towards you.”

The song ended and the two of them went back to the group without saying anything before Damian was called over by Bruce to speak to some guests.

Tim was speechless. He had been trying to avoid the question. If Damian was just a scared teenager growing up then he was in the clear, it wasn’t about him. But it was about him. 

The way Damian spoke to him, so softly and so clearly. He laughed to himself, thinking about the first time that Damian had tried to be friendly. In the kitchen that night, trying to make conversation about the weather. If any other person in his life acted that way Tim would have assumed they were trying to flirt, but with Damian he was clueless. 

“What’s go you so smiley?” Dick asked. 

Jason gave him a knowing look and took a drink of his whiskey. 

“You knew didn’t you?”

Jason smirked at him.

“Knew what?” Dick asked. 

Tim shook his head, “And he doesn’t know you know, does he?”

“Oh no. Kids totally clueless. I didn’t even know if he knew at first.”

“KNEW WHAT?” Dick whined this time. 

“We are definitely talking about this late.” Tim said. For now he needed to go find Damian. How long had the kid been pining?

Dick folded his arms and pouted, he hated being ignored.

Damian was holding a glass of something and speaking to a group of Wayne Enterprises executives. The idiots were worried about nepotism, but if Damian did end up working at W.E. he would do more for the company than all of them combined. 

Tim made eye contact with Damian and went outside to wait on the balcony. He hoped that Damian was following him. He seemed pretty satisfied just telling Tim his feelings. Tim hoped that telling Damian that he felt the same way wouldn’t change that. Maybe Damian didn’t want a relationship. Just because you are attracted to someone doesn’t mean that you want to be with them. Maybe Damian isn’t interested in a relationship at all. Or just not with the guy that he had hated for years. 

Before Tim’s thoughts got too out of control, Damian joined him on the balcony. 

“Hey,” Tim said. 

“Hey.”

“I never really know what to say in these situations.”

“You needn’t say anything. I have come to terms with my feelings.”

“What do you want from me? I mean, if you could have whatever you wanted. Nothing holding you back, what would I be to you?” Tim realized that it was an unfair question to ask. He wasn’t giving Damian anything to go off of. 

“I don’t know how to respond?”

“Do you think about me?” Tim started, taking a step towards Damian, “When I’m not around do you think about what I’m doing? Do you fantasize about stupid embarrassing things that could never happen? Do you think about that kiss? About taking another one? Do you think about me the way…”

Do you think about me the way I think about you?

“Timothy, I don’t know how to-”

Tim kissed him. It was like last time, but better. Because this time he knew how this would go. All of the anxiety that he felt in the pit of his stomach was suddenly gone. He knew that this was going to turn out well. 

Damian grabbed Tim’s waist and pulled him so that their bodies were pressed up against each other and Tim melted into it. He wrapped his arms around Damian’s neck.

It was perfect. 

...Until they heard a whistle followed by Jason’s laugh. 

They turned towards the door to see Jason giving them two thumbs up and Dick’s mouth literally hanging open. 

“What the fuck do we do now, Tim?” Damian whispered. 

“Run?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this so much and it's over now. Crazy. This is the first long fic that I have ever finished and it feels so good. Thank you everyone who read it, especially RahmaMD who has been leaving lots of comments and making me smile so much.


End file.
